A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP by Rev. Ronald McFadden

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time, his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individuals,
children of God who have decided to share a life together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to
alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yoursel if making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a
relationship strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).

Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.

Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside
interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or
her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the "i".

...I AM SORRY...

(A thought from an ex lover about the pains with my present relationship)

You've had enough thorns.

You deserve some roses.

I can't believe what you've been through lately

It doesn't seem right that one person should have to deal with so much,

and I wouldn't blame you for feeling sad, frustrated or angry.

Who wouldn't in your place?

I wish there were something I could say,

some incredibly insightful piece of advice I could give that would turn everything around for you.

But all I can do is tell you how much I'm thinking about you and remind you how much i care.

My hope is thatyou can hang in there until life starts sending you what you really deserve...

Bouquet after bouquet of beautiful roses

--~~+~~--

Someday...

Someday you’ll gonna realize
One day you’ll see through my eyes
But then i wont even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if i cant

I knowYou don’t really see my worth
You think your the last guy on earth
We’ll iv’e got news 4 you
I know i’m not that strong
But it won’t take long
Won’t take long

Coz someday, someones gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday,someones gonna take your place
One day i’ll forget about you
You’ll see, i wont even miss you
Someday, someday
But nowI know you can tell
I’m down,and i’m not doing well
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I wont have to cry
Sweet goodbye

Co’z someday, someones gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday,someones gonna take your place
One day i’ll forget about you
You’ll see, i won’t even miss you
Someday, someday